Grab a Helmet; Take Cover

I've been without Internet for a few days. Well, I should rephrase that to without stable Internet since Saturday. I was not intentionally neglecting my blog again after barely restarting it. I've been holding on to this entry since then.

When you live in a small town, there's honestly not that much excitement. The excitement that there is revolves around who had lunch with who, which is published in the local paper on a weekly basis. People also always have the weather to discuss. On Saturday, the weather brought us something to talk about alright. We were placed under three separate tornado warnings or maybe one extremely long warning.

One of our local meteorologists is like a God to the people in my town. He was the only meteorologist to track a tornado that struck in the middle of the night almost seven years ago. This tornado was potentially dangerous and this man is credited with being part of the reason no one was killed during the storm despite it striking in the middle of the night. When severe weather is in the area, everyone in the area is tuned in on their television watching this man make his prediction as to when and where the storm will strike.

Mrs. Awesome and I were gathered around the TV listening to where the storm was located. After he said there was a tornado warning he proceeds to say, "If you have a bike helmet or even a football helmet put it on." I can't help put laugh at the thought of a family lined up on the couch wearing bike helmet's ready to be blown away.

Grandma’s Wisdom

Mrs. Awesome's grandmother phoned this evening. It is a rare occasion for her to phone so of course Mrs. Awesome felt the need to answer the phone. She chatted with her grandmother for quite awhile when I could tell the conversation had turned to the weather. I'm not 100% sure what the deal is with the elderly and talking about the weather, but it is a fact whenever you have an extended conversation with an old person they're going to talk to you about the weather. Mrs. Awesome told her grandmother that we were enjoying the warm weather and had our backdoor open letting some fresh air in. That's when her grandmother said, "Are you afraid a deer will run through the screen?" When Mrs. Awesome told me that story, I couldn't help but laugh. Never has that thought entered my mind just because we live in the country.

Chicken McNasty

I have been off work for two days with this mysterious illness and have had one blogworthy incident in the entire time. My friends let me tell you a little story.

Once upon time there was a man left home alone while suffering from a deadly mysterious illness. I, Captain Awesome, will be the first to admit that there are times that I develop what is known as a man cold. This time, however, the illness is different. Very different. I am actually sick. After spending several hours online yesterday morning, I decided it was time to break down and go purchase myself some Tylenol since I was out.

In the middle of nowhere, which is where I live, we have few choices on where we can go to buy things without driving a great distance. I chose to keep my trip short and visit the local Dollar General. I have to admit I harbor a hidden love for the Dollar General. It always seemed like everything in the store was cheap and I love cheap (obviously when you look at the cheap whore who mothered the Princess and the Joker). I go into the Dollar General and walk over to the medicine section. Much to my surprise, they are completely out of generic Tylenol. I’m no medicine snob and always buy the generic kind. They had regular Tylenol so I left with a box. It only cost me $6.50. Then I had to buy a new toothbrush because the doctor told me I needed to replace mine to prevent from reinfecting myself with the illness again. I thought it was a rather smart idea even though I had heard it a million times I had never actually done it. By the time I made a couple of other purchases I had spent $20 in the Dollar General store. I have decided that the Dollar General is not the place to go in hopes to save money.

Leaving the Dollar General I caught a glimpse of the golden arches sparkling in the sunlight from across the street.

The little devils were saying to me, “C’mon Captain Awesome you know you want to! Mrs. Awesome won’t even have to know about the greasiness you ingest.” To be honest with you, that’s all they had to say to me for me to wind up in the drive thru. Impulsiveness is one of this superhero’s weaknesses. Grease is the other.

I had already determined what I wanted to order long before I made it to the window. And it wasn’t the double filet o’ fish value meal suggested by the lady taking my order or that singing fish from TV. I had chosen to go with the Chicken McNugget value meal. I paid the lady and pulled up to the next window. They handed my food right out. I checked the order and everything seemed to be correct, so I headed back to my house.

I got home and sat down at the kitchen table after getting my dog a paper plate and a knife to cut up a couple of nuggets for him. I pulled out the French fries and they looked far from appetizing. They weren't that golden brown color of good French fries. They look as though they haven’t been cooked at all. Then I decided to eat one. Huge mistake. It left this nasty feeling in my mouth and was ice cold. I suspect they poured them straight from the freezer into my fry container maybe not, but close enough. I threw those directly in the garbage.

Then I open my wonderful McNuggets. I’m like a five year old when it comes to a McNuggets, I love them more than my first born. Looking at my McNuggets was one of the most disappointing experiences in my 25 years. You see, they were burnt and while I could handle a burnt French fry burnt nuggets are another story. I don’t want a burnt McNugget. Then I take one out of the box and cut it up for the dog. There was about ten times the normal amount of grease in the thing. Of course, I went ahead and ate them. Needless to say, they were disgusting. Not only were they greasy, but the grease was old. I think this is why Mrs. Awesome always tells me to stay away from McDonalds *sigh*.

Long time, no write

I haven't updated this blog since the beginning of December. To be honest with you, I don't have a real reason for no updating like I should. I suppose life just got hectic and my blog had to suffer.

Since I last wrote, I have started a new job teaching arts and humanities to kindergarten to eighth graders. Overall, I like the job, but dislike traveling between two schools. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I have a job at one school next school year. It'll make things easier for us.

Since I last wrote, I managed to knock Mrs. Awesome up on purpose. That's right, folks, we tried to have a baby for a couple of months and conceived the Turkey. The Turkey is due around Thanksgiving hence the name. We're excited, but are keeping it under wraps.

I'm feeling quite sick today. I went to the doctor and she said I have strep throat. I'm still deciding if I'm going to work tomorrow.