Thanksgiving Recaplet

The only way I know to describe my holiday weekend is stressful. It is to be expected when you have days and days of focusing on family. I’ll begin with Thanksgiving Day. We went to my mom’s and all of my siblings were there. I have twelve siblings so when you factor in their spouses and families it is an outrageous number of people. Besides the fact that one of my sisters is completely and utterly crazy, our Thanksgiving celebration with my family went well.

Mrs. Awesome and I were the drama creators for her extended family on her mother’s side (confusing right?). We refused to go to their Thanksgiving celebration. Mrs. Awesome had a falling out with her aunts about seven months ago now. Since then I think we’ve been around them maybe twice in that time. This is down to seeing them about two weekends a month. Now, we only visit her grandmother when we are certain none of her aunts are around. The aunts and the witch-in-law were spitting fire angry that we chose not to go. I’m sure they talked about us like we are the scum of the Earth, but I don’t really care.

I’ll skip ahead until Saturday because Friday wasn’t eventful at all. Saturday the witch-in-law was supposed to make Thanksgiving dinner for Mrs. Awesome and her siblings, but she woke up sick so it was decided to just put it on hold until this weekend. We went to see Santa Claus instead. We went to the mall first and stood in line until I was teetering on the door of insanity. Waiting to see Santa Claus with my kids is bad enough, but when every person in a 100 mile radius decides their child needs to see Santa Claus on the same day it’s awful. It is unbearable with all the screaming babies, tantrum throwing toddlers, whiney preschoolers, impatient kids, and tweens who are too cool for Santa. Finally, it was our turn. I thought things were going well until Mrs. Awesome sits The Rocker in Santa’s lap. The kid freaked out. Once he calmed down, the Jock held him for the freaking $20 picture and things went better.

After we met my brother and his family for dinner, we went to Wal-Mart only to discover they were doing pictures with Santa for free. The Joker was kind enough to say after they had visited with the Wal-Mart Santa, “That’s not the real Santa you know. I’m old enough to know the one at the mall is the real Santa.” The Princess then had to throw in her two cents that she’s pretty sure neither one of them are the real Santa only helpers, but The Joker would have none of that argument because we all know the mall Santa is the real deal. And for those of you who read my blog, we convinced The Joker to only tell Santa three things he wanted instead of taking the entire catalog. Then we mailed a letter in Macy’s for the rest of the things he wants.

Saturday night Mrs. Awesome’s sister calls freaking out. At first it sounded like she said something was wrong with witch-in-law, but once she calmed down enough we found out that one of their cousins passed away in his sleep. He was only 30 so it was shocking.

That basically sums up my weekend.

Manic Monday #2

It's "Cyber Monday" today, the ceremonial kick-off of the holiday online shopping season in the United States. Do you do much online shopping, holiday or otherwise? This holiday season Mrs. Awesome and I have done the majority of our Christmas shopping online. I would say I do an average amount of online shopping on a normal basis.

Are you a Mac or a PC user? Why? PC because that's all I've ever had. I've never even considered a Mac. Maybe I should think about it though.

What website do you spend more time on than you care to admit? haha... RuneScape

Thursday Thirteen #1

I honor of Mrs. Awesome’s love for Edward Cullen I have chosen to create my first Thursday Thirteen on this blog with a Twilight theme. Without further ado I bring you

13 Things I Can Do That Edward Cullen Can’t

1. Taste food. All human food Edward eats tastes like dirt to him. I, Captain Awesome, can actually taste the food I put in my mouth.
2. Go out in the sun. As a human, I can go out in the sun without my skin sparkling like diamonds. Off topic, but who has ever heard of a sparkling vampire anyway?
3. Go to La Push. Not that I have an overwhelming desire to travel to Washington State to the reservation La Push and visit the beach, but if I wanted to I could.
4. Have sex without causing bodily harm to my partner. There are no torn pillows, bruises, etc here although that doesn’t sound half bad…
5. Sweat. Vampires are always cold but I can get hot and sweat.
6. Age. Who really wants to be 17 forever?
7. Get a speeding ticket. Sadly, I’m not equipped with a built in radar detector to avoid getting a speeding ticket. I think I should be.
8. Sleep. I’m able to kill 6 to 8 hours a night in dream land.
9. Make a mistake. Edward is far too perfect for mistakes or his ego is too big to admit it. Actually, I think that applies to me too…
10. Go into a crowded room and not hear people’s thoughts. Reading minds could come in handy at times, but for the most part no one would want to do it all the time. Thankfully I don’t have this gift.
11. Die of old age. Poor Edward can only die if someone rips his head off and burns him.
12. Live in one place my entire life. There’s no reason for me to move because I’m not aging.
13. Be Captain Awesome. Self explanatory.

Two Days Before Thanksgiving

As Thanksgiving approaches here in the US the Awesomes have begun their celebrations. We've placed more emphasis on being thankful for the things we have with the kids. We want them to understand Thanksgiving is more than just turkey. That being said, Mrs. Awesome turned into the names of a couple of people we know for a Thanksgiving food basket from church. She also told the people that we'd deliver them, and by we she meant me. An elderly couple brought the baskets too us this afternoon. In conversation I realized that the gentleman thinks one of the baskets is for us. I didn't clarify with him that it's not. I don't know why but I am embarrassed by the entire situation.

Captain Awesome

Manic Monday #1

Do you ever talk to yourself out loud? What do you talk about? I talk to myself out loud all the time. I, obviously, talk about how awesome I am and how no one can ever be as awesome as me. I ask myself out loud everyday: WWCAD? (What would Captain Awesome do?) since in real life I am not called Captain Awesome. It seems no matter how hard I try people stick with my given name.

What stresses you out? My current stress is Christmas. When you have six munchkins to buy for you can't help be get frazzled about it.

What are your secret talents? If I tell you what my secret talents are, exactly what makes them secret?

Weekend Randomness

Friday afternoon the Jock and I accompanied Mrs. Awesome on her quest to spend two hours of her life lusting over an immortal vampire. Mrs. Awesome would love to trade in her awesomeness to become a Cullen. For those of you who have been living under rocks I am talking about Twilight. Mrs. Awesome adores the series. I have read it and don’t dislike it, but have no love for Edward Cullen. The Jock read the first book and has started the second, so we went with her. It wasn’t a bad movie nor was it a wonderful film. It falls somewhere in between on the scale.

Today (Saturday) the Jock, the Princess, and the Joker had basketball games at the local high school. It was an organized event that lasted most of the afternoon. The Jock scored 8 points even though his team lost. The Princess’ team won without much help from her. They don’t keep score in the Joker’s league. I guess they think that a little friendly competition isn’t good for five year olds. I think that they should, but you’ll be surprised to know that no one asked my opinion when they came up with the league rules.

After we left the games we went to Red Lobster. I was amazed by my children’s behavior and no because they were bad. They were all very well behaved. Two elderly women came up and complimented them. It makes you feel good when your offspring don’t act like a bunch of heathens in public.

Later in the mall, Mrs. Awesome stayed inside a store purchasing some items while I took the children out into the center of the mall. We were right beside Santa Claus who wasn’t busy at all. The kids all waved at him, but wouldn’t be able to have their official business because their clothes weren’t up to par with Mrs. Awesome’s standards. I gave the children permission to go say hello to Santa. The Joker just wouldn’t go over to him. I asked him what was going on. He said, “I can’t see Santa. I don’t have my catalog.” Yeah he wants to take the big toy book where he has circled every item with him when he sees Santa. Mrs. Awesome thinks he just wants to be sure Santa gets it right.

-Captain Awesome

Crisscross Applesauce

The Joker is by far the most difficult of all the Awesome children. In all the trials the Joker puts me through I have to say that it keeps my life interesting. Let’s examine the happenings of yesterday afternoon.

After school, I had a few minutes with the children before I had to rush off to class. The Joker was eager to share his day with me. As a kindergartener, he hasn’t grown into the simple “Fine,” answer when asked how his day went. During his sharing he asked me, “Can you sit crisscross applesauce on the floor?”

For those without their own munchkins, this is sitting Indian style on the floor. I responded, “Yes, why?”

“Because you’re old and Mrs. C is young,” he said. Mrs. C is his kindergarten teacher whom he orders.

“Mrs. C is older than me,” I told him.

“No Dad, she doesn’t have kids,” he ended.

At least he realizes that having children has made me old.

-Captain Awesome

The Dreaded First

Blogging isn't something that's new to me. I've blogged for years; however, this is a new blog so I have to write a first entry. I hate first entries because I don't feel like you actually get to know the person who has written it.

My name is Captain Awesome and though my name suggests that I’m awesome in reality I view myself as far from awesome. Many say I’m wise beyond my 24 years. This, of course, could be a nice way of saying I’m a huge loser. I’m not a loser…I am a father.

In 2001, at ripe old age of 17, I became a dad to a beautiful baby girl Princess. Princess’ mother was in and out of our lives from the beginning. That year my little brother became ill and passed away in March 2002 (No, it’s not something I want to talk about, but feel that it should be stated because in many ways his death shaped the man I am today.). After his death, I concluded that we (my family and I) had been blessed to have Princess to help us come to terms with our loss because Princess was a baby who needed our attention.

In 2003, Princess’ mother and I welcome the Joker to the world. Shortly after his birth (within days), their mother and I reached the mutual decision that we weren’t meant to be as a couple. She also concluded she wasn’t mother material. To this day, I feel sorry for her because Princess and the Joker are amazing children and she is missing out on the love that they give to my wife and me every day.

I’m sure you all know that a 19 year old boy raising two children on his own is beyond difficult. This is when Mrs. Awesome and the Jock went from friends to family. Mrs. Awesome and I became roommates to help each other with our young children. Slowly, our relationship grew romantically and by the end of the year Mrs. Awesome and I were a couple.

The rockiest part of my relationship with Mrs. Awesome was the year of 2005. She became unexpectedly pregnant and I became a jerk who did not want to step up to the responsibility of another child. About the time I started coming around to the idea of another child, Mrs. Awesome had a miscarriage which devastated her. I blamed myself and have always believed that to a certain extent she blamed my crappy attitude for the loss of our baby.

Later the same year, a DNA test confirmed that a short fling had resulted in the conception of Professor Awesome. Mrs. Awesome had trouble accepting the Professor into our lives at first, but came around rather quickly. We set to work building a relationship with a three year old boy we didn’t know.

In November 2005, we decided to try and conceive a baby. I was blessed with the power of super sperm and managed to be successful on our first attempt at trying. Later we learned not only were we expecting, but we were expecting twins. Mrs. Awesome and I after being engaged since Christmas 2004 decided to get married in May 2006 prior to the birth of our twins. On July 1st, 2006, we welcomed the Rocker and the Daredevil into our family.

My arch enemy is depression. I’ve battled depression my entire adult life. I have attempted suicide on multiple occasions and on one attempt landed myself in psychiatric ward of the hospital. My struggle with depression is worse at certain times than at others. I have a degree in elementary education, but cannot find a job in my area in the field. I substitute teach instead, which causes me to feel like I am unable to support my family. This makes the depression worse. I am being treated for depression, but do have an occasional bad day(s).

It is important for you to know that all six of our children live with Mrs. Awesome and me. The Jock’s father sporadically visits him and actually sees the Jock less than he likes because many times the Jock doesn’t want to go with him. Princess and the Jokers’ mother has not laid eyes on them in over a year. The Professor was taken away from his mother by social services and now stays with us. He sees his mother on Friday afternoons for a couple of hours and spends an occasional overnight there, but for the most part is with us.

The Professor has a form of autism called Asperger’s Syndrome (AS). This helped me to settle on working on my master’s degree in special education. I love working with children with autism and other special needs. I think that it is my true calling.

I am Captain Awesome, a super hero, whose arch enemy is depression and super power is super sperm. I am me.

Captain Awesome