I honor of Mrs. Awesome’s love for Edward Cullen I have chosen to create my first Thursday Thirteen on this blog with a Twilight theme. Without further ado I bring you
13 Things I Can Do That Edward Cullen Can’t
1. Taste food. All human food Edward eats tastes like dirt to him. I, Captain Awesome, can actually taste the food I put in my mouth.
2. Go out in the sun. As a human, I can go out in the sun without my skin sparkling like diamonds. Off topic, but who has ever heard of a sparkling vampire anyway?
3. Go to La Push. Not that I have an overwhelming desire to travel to Washington State to the reservation La Push and visit the beach, but if I wanted to I could.
4. Have sex without causing bodily harm to my partner. There are no torn pillows, bruises, etc here although that doesn’t sound half bad…
5. Sweat. Vampires are always cold but I can get hot and sweat.
6. Age. Who really wants to be 17 forever?
7. Get a speeding ticket. Sadly, I’m not equipped with a built in radar detector to avoid getting a speeding ticket. I think I should be.
8. Sleep. I’m able to kill 6 to 8 hours a night in dream land.
9. Make a mistake. Edward is far too perfect for mistakes or his ego is too big to admit it. Actually, I think that applies to me too…
10. Go into a crowded room and not hear people’s thoughts. Reading minds could come in handy at times, but for the most part no one would want to do it all the time. Thankfully I don’t have this gift.
11. Die of old age. Poor Edward can only die if someone rips his head off and burns him.
12. Live in one place my entire life. There’s no reason for me to move because I’m not aging.
13. Be Captain Awesome. Self explanatory.
13 Things I Can Do That Edward Cullen Can’t
1. Taste food. All human food Edward eats tastes like dirt to him. I, Captain Awesome, can actually taste the food I put in my mouth.
2. Go out in the sun. As a human, I can go out in the sun without my skin sparkling like diamonds. Off topic, but who has ever heard of a sparkling vampire anyway?
3. Go to La Push. Not that I have an overwhelming desire to travel to Washington State to the reservation La Push and visit the beach, but if I wanted to I could.
4. Have sex without causing bodily harm to my partner. There are no torn pillows, bruises, etc here although that doesn’t sound half bad…
5. Sweat. Vampires are always cold but I can get hot and sweat.
6. Age. Who really wants to be 17 forever?
7. Get a speeding ticket. Sadly, I’m not equipped with a built in radar detector to avoid getting a speeding ticket. I think I should be.
8. Sleep. I’m able to kill 6 to 8 hours a night in dream land.
9. Make a mistake. Edward is far too perfect for mistakes or his ego is too big to admit it. Actually, I think that applies to me too…
10. Go into a crowded room and not hear people’s thoughts. Reading minds could come in handy at times, but for the most part no one would want to do it all the time. Thankfully I don’t have this gift.
11. Die of old age. Poor Edward can only die if someone rips his head off and burns him.
12. Live in one place my entire life. There’s no reason for me to move because I’m not aging.
13. Be Captain Awesome. Self explanatory.
4 comments:
Well, I don't know who Edward Cullen is but I expect he is very envious of you!
I know its thursday thirteen but #14 could have been "The Volturi family isn't constantly keeping an eye on my family and trying to recruit my wife and daughter"
This is AWESOME!
Trademark of being, Captain Awesome. What did Mrs. Awesome say?
A great list! I look forward to getting to know you and Edward better in the next TT.
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