10 Sings You’re Getting Old

This 10 on Tuesday couldn't be more perfect for me. I just told Mrs. Awesome last night that we're getting old. I might as well share some of my reasons with the world.

1. You go to bed at 10:00 p.m. to sleep not get freaky.
   
2. You watch the news at least twice a day sometimes as many four times.
   
3. You have an invested interest in the weather.
   
4. You can't understand the new slang the kiddies are using. Really what's the deal with, "Oh snap!"?
   
5. You don't understand the new fashions the youngins are into either.
   
6. You think that music was better when you were in high school than it is now.
   
7. You have children. It's nothing like children to make a person feel old. My oldest biological child was born when I was 17 causing me to automatically feel much older than most people my age. The sad thing is it continues as that little girl who was born just after my 17^th birthday celebrated her 8^th birthday a couple of months ago.
   
8. You realize your back is hurting and you aren't sure why though tossing the Joker, the Daredevil, and the Rocker repeatedly into the air and catching them may play a factor.
   
9. You're shocked at the fact children born in 1991 are high school seniors.
   
10. You had the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or a Carebear or any other toy that they're now marketing to children as new.

Saturday 9

1. There are several religious holidays going on this weekend. Any plans? Tomorrow we have soccer games and a couple of Easter egg hunts. Then Mrs. Awesome plans to dye Easter eggs with our munchkins. I think I will grade papers during that time. Sunday we have church and Easter dinner at my mom's.

2. Do you look forward to holiday events or do they stress you out? I look forward to them for the most part. There are some aspects of holidays that stress me out, but overall I enjoy watching the kids get excited about stuff.

3. Do you have any traditional meals that you will eat? For Easter, we'll have ham and the fixings. On Thanksgiving and Christmas there is usually both turkey and ham and all the fixings.

4. We are changing seasons. What are you looking forward to? More than anything I'm ready for warmer weather and to see leaves on the trees again.

5. Around here it is turning to spring. What signals spring to you? Longer days and everything getting green again.

6. What is your favorite season and why? Summer because I am teacher and don't have to go to work for two months.

7. Do you have a favorite food when dining out? It depends on where we are eating. I have a favorite dish at most places we go to, but that doesn't mean that's what I'll order.

8. What is your favorite beverage when out? All I ever get is sweet tea or Dr. Pepper. I can't afford alcohol *lol*.

9. When is your next big night out? hmm….18 years and 1 day from the Turkey's birth?

A Woman And Her Shoes

This evening my wife got it in her head that the children needed shoes to go with their Easter outfits. More specifically, The Princess needed shoes to match her Easter dress and The Professor and The Joker needed new dress shoes. Being that I am completely whipped after dinner we went to Payless.

Trips to places such as shoe stores show me why I am only blessed with one daughter. The Princess has strong opinions on things like shoes. Her brothers, for the most part, wear whatever their mother tells them too without any argument. Actually, I usually wear whatever Mrs. Awesome tells me to without arguing as well *lol*. Anyway, Mrs. Awesome found the pair of shoes she thought would look perfect with The Princess's dress. The Princess hated the shoes and wanted a pair of Hannah Montana high heels instead.

The issue was the fact these shoes are for Easter, which means things are dressier than usual. In my wife's mind, the Hannah Montana shoes just weren't going to cut it. She was set on The Princess wearing white shoes with her dress because she thinks it will look better. Mrs. Awesome chose a lovely pair of white shoes for her.

The Princess believed these shoes are for babies. This leads to a huge standoff in Payless. Both of the women in my life tend to be stubborn. The Princess starts to flat out refuse to try the shoes on Mrs. Awesome picked out for her. I stepped in and forced her to try them on. The shoes fit perfectly, so these are the ones we wanted to buy. These shoes were also $10 cheaper than the Hannah Montana shoes.

Well, The Princess being our Princess or Drama Queen begins crying when she knows she's not getting the Hannah Montana shoes. She cries about how she never gets anything, which isn't true but in general she's making a scene in the store. She looked pathetic with the broken wrist and all. Some other customers had started looking at us at that point adding to my utter embarrassment.

We ended up compromising with her. She paid for the Hannah Montana shoes with her own money. We paid for the white shoes. On Easter morning, she will be wearing the white shoes Mrs. Awesome chose for her. Tomorrow when we go see the Hannah Montana movie, she can wear her Hannah Montana shoes along with her big Hannah Montana hoop earrings she bought at Wal-Mart last night.

*sigh* I am beginning to wonder if I should start praying nightly that the Turkey is another boy. I'm not sure I need to start over with a girl.

Thursday 13- Children’s Sayings

Coming up with a topic of my first Thursday 13 in a while was more difficult than I thought it would be. I came up with several ideas, but none of those seemed to be the right topic for me this week. I finally decided on sharing some children's sayings. Then it turned out to be harder than I thought as my memory stopped working after the first half. It just proves that I need to write this stuff down every day.

Visit the Thursday 13 to play!

1. The Professor shares a word of wisdom at breakfast, "Bacteria is getting in our food right now."
   
2. The Joker's sudden excitement over the Princess' birthday gift, "YOU GOT A 1 AND a 0! I LOVE THOSE MONEYS!"
   
3. One night we had salads with dinner, which is one of the Joker's favorite foods. Before he brushed his teeth and all that stuff to go to bed he was munching on croutons from the package. Mrs. Awesome told him, "You smell like a crouton." He responded, "I'd rather be a bacon bit."
   
4. On a cold winter's night the Daredevil says, "I cold. I need a Snuggie."
   
5. One Saturday before Christmas Wal-Mart had a Santa in their garden center. Since we were there we took the kids to see Santa. When we were finished the Joker says, "That's not the real Santa you know. I'm old enough to know the real Santa is the one at the mall."
   
6. Along the same lines, the Joker explained the reason he couldn't see the Santa at the mall on one particular day we were there, "Dad I don't have my catalog!"
   
7. The Joker's attempt to eat an ice cream cone in the summer led to the following exclamation, "My ice cream is leaking everywhere!"
   
8. The Rocker (keep in mind he's two) asks me, "Can you just give me some space?"
   
9. When the Princess was 18 months to 2 years old she was a big talker. Actually she still is a big talker. One particular day she looked into a bucket that held some tomatoes and says, "Hello Mr. Tomato! How are you doing today?"
   
10. The Joker has his first loose tooth. He explained to the twins what this loose tooth means to him, "I'm going to get about 20 dollars for this tooth! I'll be rich!"
    
11. The Princess wrote her first short story at school. She was very proud and said, "It's about a horse turning into a Pegasus." I found this funny because I believe Pegasus is a single horse not something horses turn into.
    
12. Today the Rocker asked, "What's an odor?"
    
13. The Joker was playing with a stuffed monkey and said, "Oh no my baby has turned into a monkey! You know why? He drank monkey juice." The Daredevil says, "Oh bother."

Ten on Tuesday

10 Least Liked Foods

1. Coconut- I hate the texture of coconut. I hate those little bits that seem to remain in your mouth for hours after you've eaten it.
   


2. Oatmeal- Nothing about oatmeal strikes me as appetizing. It's a pile of mush in a bowl.
   


3. Bananas- Again it's a texture thing. The softness of a banana grosses me out.
   


4. Ice cream- This one is a little tricky. I like ice cream in a cone. I will also eat Blizzards from Dairy Queen.
   


5. Mushrooms- Slimy *gags*
   


6. Olives- They look like eyeballs. That reminds me of the lady I saw on a talk show once who was terrified of olives.
   


7. Cabbage- Disgusting.
   


8. Pickles
   


9. Onions
   


10. Mustard

The Broken Princess

The Jock likes to skateboard and is pretty decent at it. We don't really have a good set up for skateboarding here in the country, but he still does it none the less. Mrs. Awesome let the kids go outside for a bit this afternoon even though it was cold and wet. While they were outside, the Princess decided to try out skateboarding. She doesn't share her brother's gift for skateboarding and ended up with a broken wrist. I think we're off to a great start for spring break.

Just Another Manic Monday

How often do you change your toothbrush? I change my toothbrush when it needs changing or when I go to the dentist. I guess that means every six months or so.

What is your favorite item of clothing to shop for? Socks. There's nothing to shopping for socks. You go in pick up the kind you want and off you go. Generally, I buy white socks so I don't even have to think about the color.

Do you use social media (Twitter, Facebook, etc.)? Which do you use most often? I have a Twitter account strictly for this blog, but I am horrible at updating it. I have no desire to have Facebook or any of those other social networking sites.

A Well Balanced Breakfast

This morning Mrs. Awesome decides to inform me that my version of a well balanced breakfast is in fact not a well balanced meal. Honestly, I was attempting to have a well balanced breakfast when I sat down to eat the following

That's right for breakfast I chose to have a Sprite and leftover breadsticks from the Olive Garden. I have to say it was damn good even in the nutritional value wasn't as high as it should've been. Mrs. Awesome continued by saying that I should have the same breakfast she was having with the children. I will admit that the breakfast they were eating this morning was very balanced.

Their main dish being a bowl of oatmeal, which I hate. I cannot stomach oatmeal for the life of me. I don't enjoy the texture. I honestly feel sick from the minute I put it in my mouth. On the side, they had a piece of toast, a few strawberries, and milk to drink. Mrs. Awesome always tries to start our children out with a decent breakfast so this is typical for them. She had almost convinced that I will be dying at an early age because of my poor eating habits when the Professor came to my rescue.

"You know what?" He began without even specifying who he was speaking to.

Mrs. Awesome took the bait, "What sweetie?" She asked him while still eating her oatmeal.

"Bacteria is getting in our food right now," he stated very matter of factualy.

By this time, I had finished eating my two breadsticks and told Mrs. Awesome, "This is why you don't eat a balanced breakfast. There is less time for bacteria to climb in your food."

Grab a Helmet; Take Cover

I've been without Internet for a few days. Well, I should rephrase that to without stable Internet since Saturday. I was not intentionally neglecting my blog again after barely restarting it. I've been holding on to this entry since then.

When you live in a small town, there's honestly not that much excitement. The excitement that there is revolves around who had lunch with who, which is published in the local paper on a weekly basis. People also always have the weather to discuss. On Saturday, the weather brought us something to talk about alright. We were placed under three separate tornado warnings or maybe one extremely long warning.

One of our local meteorologists is like a God to the people in my town. He was the only meteorologist to track a tornado that struck in the middle of the night almost seven years ago. This tornado was potentially dangerous and this man is credited with being part of the reason no one was killed during the storm despite it striking in the middle of the night. When severe weather is in the area, everyone in the area is tuned in on their television watching this man make his prediction as to when and where the storm will strike.

Mrs. Awesome and I were gathered around the TV listening to where the storm was located. After he said there was a tornado warning he proceeds to say, "If you have a bike helmet or even a football helmet put it on." I can't help put laugh at the thought of a family lined up on the couch wearing bike helmet's ready to be blown away.

Grandma’s Wisdom

Mrs. Awesome's grandmother phoned this evening. It is a rare occasion for her to phone so of course Mrs. Awesome felt the need to answer the phone. She chatted with her grandmother for quite awhile when I could tell the conversation had turned to the weather. I'm not 100% sure what the deal is with the elderly and talking about the weather, but it is a fact whenever you have an extended conversation with an old person they're going to talk to you about the weather. Mrs. Awesome told her grandmother that we were enjoying the warm weather and had our backdoor open letting some fresh air in. That's when her grandmother said, "Are you afraid a deer will run through the screen?" When Mrs. Awesome told me that story, I couldn't help but laugh. Never has that thought entered my mind just because we live in the country.

Chicken McNasty

I have been off work for two days with this mysterious illness and have had one blogworthy incident in the entire time. My friends let me tell you a little story.

Once upon time there was a man left home alone while suffering from a deadly mysterious illness. I, Captain Awesome, will be the first to admit that there are times that I develop what is known as a man cold. This time, however, the illness is different. Very different. I am actually sick. After spending several hours online yesterday morning, I decided it was time to break down and go purchase myself some Tylenol since I was out.

In the middle of nowhere, which is where I live, we have few choices on where we can go to buy things without driving a great distance. I chose to keep my trip short and visit the local Dollar General. I have to admit I harbor a hidden love for the Dollar General. It always seemed like everything in the store was cheap and I love cheap (obviously when you look at the cheap whore who mothered the Princess and the Joker). I go into the Dollar General and walk over to the medicine section. Much to my surprise, they are completely out of generic Tylenol. I’m no medicine snob and always buy the generic kind. They had regular Tylenol so I left with a box. It only cost me $6.50. Then I had to buy a new toothbrush because the doctor told me I needed to replace mine to prevent from reinfecting myself with the illness again. I thought it was a rather smart idea even though I had heard it a million times I had never actually done it. By the time I made a couple of other purchases I had spent $20 in the Dollar General store. I have decided that the Dollar General is not the place to go in hopes to save money.

Leaving the Dollar General I caught a glimpse of the golden arches sparkling in the sunlight from across the street.

The little devils were saying to me, “C’mon Captain Awesome you know you want to! Mrs. Awesome won’t even have to know about the greasiness you ingest.” To be honest with you, that’s all they had to say to me for me to wind up in the drive thru. Impulsiveness is one of this superhero’s weaknesses. Grease is the other.

I had already determined what I wanted to order long before I made it to the window. And it wasn’t the double filet o’ fish value meal suggested by the lady taking my order or that singing fish from TV. I had chosen to go with the Chicken McNugget value meal. I paid the lady and pulled up to the next window. They handed my food right out. I checked the order and everything seemed to be correct, so I headed back to my house.

I got home and sat down at the kitchen table after getting my dog a paper plate and a knife to cut up a couple of nuggets for him. I pulled out the French fries and they looked far from appetizing. They weren't that golden brown color of good French fries. They look as though they haven’t been cooked at all. Then I decided to eat one. Huge mistake. It left this nasty feeling in my mouth and was ice cold. I suspect they poured them straight from the freezer into my fry container maybe not, but close enough. I threw those directly in the garbage.

Then I open my wonderful McNuggets. I’m like a five year old when it comes to a McNuggets, I love them more than my first born. Looking at my McNuggets was one of the most disappointing experiences in my 25 years. You see, they were burnt and while I could handle a burnt French fry burnt nuggets are another story. I don’t want a burnt McNugget. Then I take one out of the box and cut it up for the dog. There was about ten times the normal amount of grease in the thing. Of course, I went ahead and ate them. Needless to say, they were disgusting. Not only were they greasy, but the grease was old. I think this is why Mrs. Awesome always tells me to stay away from McDonalds *sigh*.

Long time, no write

I haven't updated this blog since the beginning of December. To be honest with you, I don't have a real reason for no updating like I should. I suppose life just got hectic and my blog had to suffer.

Since I last wrote, I have started a new job teaching arts and humanities to kindergarten to eighth graders. Overall, I like the job, but dislike traveling between two schools. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I have a job at one school next school year. It'll make things easier for us.

Since I last wrote, I managed to knock Mrs. Awesome up on purpose. That's right, folks, we tried to have a baby for a couple of months and conceived the Turkey. The Turkey is due around Thanksgiving hence the name. We're excited, but are keeping it under wraps.

I'm feeling quite sick today. I went to the doctor and she said I have strep throat. I'm still deciding if I'm going to work tomorrow.